Wednesday, November 3, 2010

i only mind how much and how fast he drinks but not the fact that he drinks... what i really do mind is that he smokes.

you know, if he hadn't been so drunk that night, he probably would've been able to tell that i was uncomfortable with the other boy...

i didn't even know that guy and the guy just kept touching me, and being all close to me. The guy wasn't even drunk! The guy only drank Fanta! Completely sober! it was nice to have someone pay attention to me, but it wasn't the person i wanted, and it certainly wasn't the way i wanted. especially not when he started hurting me. luckily i had a friend to assist me. got out of that one unscathed.

i had to keep leaving and going outside. i'd sit by a car, with my legs out on the road. I knew he saw me out there a few times on my own... but he was too drunk.  he was drunk twenty minutes in. if he didn't always change near people, i guess it wouldn't be too bad. but then he starts bragging about how much he's drunk and how fast, and i'm the one who's wanting to get sick.
Still, i don't mind that part too much. It is a stupid thing to do to yourself, especially as often as he does... but then there's the smoking.
that's just ridiculous! It's something that's disgusting, dangerous and really unattractive! i don't even want to imagine what his teeth are gonna look like if he keeps this up... stained from the smoke of the cigarette. to think i love his smile now... what then?
what i find funny is that it's a habit that EVERYONE knows can only cause bad things! why even bother starting?
secretly, i wish he'd stop. for me, you know? show me that he listens when i tell him things... that he'd rather be with me instead of smoking... that way he'd have to stop walking out with other people to smoke. he might actually notice when i'm not feeling okay. but he's always too busy outside. smoking.

i hate that.

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