lady lights a cigarette, puffs away, no regrets

looks around. no regrets, no regrets...


my grandmother's house does not have any pictures of me with my grandfather...
neither does my aunt's house... in fact, my aunt's house doesn't have any pictures of me at all.

it rains a lot here...
daddy said that unlike portugal and australia, it rains in the summer and is just cold in the winter... which is silly.

i must admit, i don't feel like i'm part of this family... and in a way, i'm very happy about that.
I mean, i'm surprised the women get husbands... they're either slightly... um... out there (to put it VERY nicely) or they marry weak men that they can boss around...
and the only reason the men get wives who put up with the crap of the women in my family is that they're all quite nice... or they marry the same sort of women.

being far away, i don't have to deal with them, live with them, or be raised in the same way they are. i love them because they are family, but that is all.
lots of them are mediocre in their lifestyles and have no will to try and change that... they like it just the way it is.
and i find that kinda sad.

i constantly thank my parents for the way they've educated and disciplined me. I'll have you know, that even with the law in australia that forbid people from physically disciplining their kids, they still did. and to be honest, i am very grateful for that. now i see SO many kids who would behave so much better if their parents would just give them a smack, but instead, they're just labelled as ADHD and the parents give them everything they want. well guess what: the world isn't like that and people like that grow up to be insufferable, annoying, spoiled and sometimes, even ridiculous!
what's really sad is that i can name a few people i know who are like that. and i just want to hit them whenever they open their mouths. they have no consideration for others' feelings and they're also quite ignorant. AAARRRGH!! then they wonder why they don't have friends that stick around...
also, i've noticed, these are people who want attention... mainly from the opposite sex... constantly changing girlfriends or boyfriends and finding it perfectly normal and then coming up with lame excuses like "i'm just not mature yet" I mean, SERIOUSLY! Just shove it!

So much more i'd like to say... but i'm going to save the rage for a night of tears and anger.

thank you for your patience.





i should write a book.